Today I was playing bubbles in the driveway with the kids. Thanks to a recent battle with the crud I hadn’t been feeling very playful for a while. I was determined to make up for it today. I accidentally spilled bubble goop all over my sandal and went over to the hose to spray off my feet. Since the hose was out, Wesley brought out the watering cans for the flowers and Rip ran through the yard barking, begging to be squirted.

I knew the kids were going straight into the bathtub after our driveway time and since I was feeling a little mischievious, I started spraying Wesley’s feet. He didn’t seem to mind, although he didn’t exactly shout with glee. So, we watered the flowers. And yet the little devil on my shoulder was far from satisfied. We have had several trips out to water the flowers and the only one I have ever squirted had been Ripley. It was time.

With Jayne standing about 12 feet away, I took aim at her belly. One quick squirt and she ran SCREAMING into the garage. You’d have thought I had just shot her with a paintball gun. It wasn’t “Hee hee, you can’t catch me Mom” screaming. This was “Oh the humanity, I’M MELTING” screaming.

I coaxed her back out of the garage (promising not to spray her anymore) in an attempt to figure out why she was so upset. Aside from being startled, she was genuinely mad with me. After lecturing me that I wasn’t to squirt her, she begged to go in and change out of her (barely) wet clothes. More crying after I refused to let her go change.

While all that drama was going on, Wes was wanting me to refill the watering cans. Instead I squirted his feet some more. My goal was to apply the “See, it doesn’t bother your brother, the baby” tactic on Jayne. Since he didn’t mind the feet, I pressed my luck and gave him a quick shot to the belly.

I was laughing.

Wes was pissed.

It was too late. My little devil was in full stride and I was having a good time. So I blasted his back as he turned to run into the garage.

Jayne was horrified. She immediately started bawling again. Wesley was waddling like he’d been mortally wounded and heading for the door. Of course, he too was screaming. Jayne was yelling at me between sobs, “Mom, you aren’t supposed to DO that to us!”

Despite the wailing, I got them both undressed in the garage and up into the tub. And wouldn’t you know it… now they are having a blast dumping water on each other’s heads.

I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but Wesley has adopted a favorite phrase and although I’m not proud to admit it, that phrase is “Taco Bell.” It is his answer to every question (with the occasional “taco beans” thrown in for good measure) and often uttered with such force to cause his parents to blush in other eating establishments.

I do think his enthusiasm is enough to garner a role as Taco Bell spokesbaby. Afterall, he’s far cuter than that chihuahua.

I mean, c’mon… aren’t you craving a chalupa now?

Before you go dialing Child Services, please know that the only meal Wes ever consumed inside a Taco Bell restaurant consisted of cantaloupe and red grapes. As for what the rest of us ate, well, that is a different story entirely.

A while back Chris’s company sponsored a family day at the Zoo. Aside from the heat, it was an awesome visit.

After an hour and a half of nap-striking, I caught Wesley walking around the house. I put him back in his crib and went about my business. Two minutes later, I checked on him and he was sitting on his floor reading a book. So I put him and his book back in the crib, and again checked on him two minutes later. Sure enough, he was back on the floor reading another book.

One last time back into the crib and I’ve been trying to witness the escape, but now all he’s doing is writhing pitifully in his bed. Something tells me this is the beginning of the end.

I’m guessing we shouldn’t have kept giving him those spoons he demanded at bedtime.

UPDATE: He heard me turn on the cartoon downstairs for Jayne and he was downstairs in a flash. I still have yet to witness the escape, but he is clearly gifted. We are so doomed.

Wesley has really started hamming it up for the camera. I think he thinks he’s smiling in the picture above. Anyway, on the morning of the parade I was able to catch many of Wesley’s classics. Below are Vampire Wes, Pensive Wes and Rapper Wes.

My new favorite, Grumpy Old Man Wes is after the jump.

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