A scourge on our household, it’s Pre-K pirate day! So behold the Dread Pirate Jay Jay. Parrottop? Madame Rosmerta? We never did decide on a name. Anyway, with a bandana on her skull, scar on her cheek* and tattoos on her forearms, she was in true pirate form.
After she mocked the camera, she commenced the official pirate jig.
I made it home to Ohio with the kids in September. Here are some photos from the visit.
Sunday Chris and I were screaming our heads off at the Titans game, when he pulled out his cell phone and noticed that we had about ten calls from home. I ran with the phone to a quiet restroom and called home not sure what to expect. Rarely has Michelle, our babysitter extraordinaire, ever needed to call us while we were out, let alone ten times.
Michelle answered the phone and filled me in on the emergency. Jayne and Wes had been playing in a tent, when she heard Wesley fussing. Jayne confessed to trying to stick something in his nose, and “it” got stuck. When asked what she put in his nose, Jayne provided two different cryptic answers. It was either “something gray that was like chalk” or “a piece of the floor.”
From what I can gather, what happened next was a whirlwind of action sprinkled with panic as Michelle set to unsticking what was stuck in Wesley’s nose. She tried seeing into his nose, to no avail. She tried calling us at the incredibly loud football game, to no avail. She tried finding a phone book to find a hospital phone number, to no avail. She found the doctors phone numbers on our phone list and just called the first one, hoping it was a pediatrician. It was. The nurse indicated that if his breathing wasn’t in jeopardy then she could probably avoid an ER visit, but she could bring him to the doc’s office later in the day. Michelle felt relieved, until she hung up the phone and realized, “I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE IS!” So Michelle scooped up Wes and took him over to Wendy’s (the neighbor) house for a second opinion.
After watching Wesley play and sneeze in normal fuss-free manner, the consensus was that he was fine and a trip to the pediatrician could be postponed until the following day. After Michelle got the kids back home was when my phone call came in. She was able to provide the details in a calm and collected manner, although I’m certain it was rather harrowing for a while.
So we returned home from the game, and Chris gave Jayne a lecture about NOT sticking things in people’s noses. I think it may have been her six or seventh lecture on that topic during the afternoon. Jayne was looking very concerned, and I’m amazed at how Chris maintained a straight face. All I could do was snicker in the corner. Wesley, on the other hand, was peacefully napping at that time, breathing through his nose without issue. We looked him over when he got up we checked him out, still uncertain at to whether there was a foreign object lodged in his nose or not.
Later on in the evening, Chris appeared with Jayne who was claiming she found “what she stuck in Wesley’s nose.” It was a little cube of grout from the tile floor, and it was indeed both a piece of the floor that was gray and like chalk. Bravo Jayne. We again tried to discern if the piece of grout we were holding had come out of Wesley’s nose (it was dry and slime-free), or was just similar to the piece that was currently lodged in his nasal cavity. Jayne couldn’t provide much insight into our quandary.
After Wes fell asleep for the night, I took a penlight and shoved it up his nose. (Gently, of course.) In addition to the cool Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer effect, I noticed no dark spaces indicating there was something lodged up there. Plus, if the sample piece of grout was like what what in his nose, there is NO way he would go through the day without complaining. It was large-ish with sharp corners and would not disappear in his nose without discomfort.
This morning I called the nurse and essentially asked for permission to NOT bring him in. She told me some symptoms of kids having things lodged in their noses (foul-smelling mucus and discomfort) that Wes hadn’t experienced, so our fingers are crossed that we are in the clear. Phew.
I guess there are there are several lessons one could take away from this scenario. Some of these may seem obvious, but hey, I never claimed to be a professional.
Make sure the sitter has clearly labeled physician phone numbers.
Make sure the sitter has directions to doctor’s offices.
Keep phone books in logical places (garage doesn’t count).
Make sure cell phone is on when kids are home with a sitter.
Make sure children have respect for the bodily orifices (orifi?) of others.
Keep the freakin’ floors clean.
Just a public service for all you rookie parents out there. Let me learn these lessons so you don’t have to.
Although they are not to the point of riding the school bus, I agree with Wendy that this is one of the most beautiful sights. Actually, any day they go to school is beautiful!
Make sure you rollover the image above.
With school starting next week, the proverbial Summer is over. However with our soaring temperatures and drought-like conditions, we will most likely be seeing more of Jayne in the sprinkler… probably well into November.